If there is one thing I am not an advocate of, it is “change.” I don’t like it and, although probably the majority of people don’t root for change – usually there is something about the familiar that we hate to let go of, because of my personality, I’d prefer that things remain quiet and continue in the same vein. Unfortunately, my life is changing. Not in the drastic cannot-believe-I-am-doing-this kind of change mind you, but more the subtle kind of transition that comes with maturity. I’ve grown up. Growing up, I went through seasons of change – as hopefully we all do, and in retrospect, most of the time, those differences were not just "good" but changing me into a "better" person. Being where I am now, I have no desire to revert back to my teenage years but lately I have just been realizing what is shifting in my life and how that trend isn’t going to go backwards but rather forward. And with every passing year, that truth is becoming more a reality than fantasy.
When I was eighteen or nineteen, my mother, aunt, and a lovely lady who has been like a grandmother took me out for a birthday lunch, somehow the conversation turned to returning into the past to ones teenage years. I remember my mother asking me, “would you want to go back?” Naïve and self-doubting girl I was, I was like, “um… I don’t know.” Now I do. The answer: A resounding, “no!” I have no disappointments in how I was raised. My parents home-schooled me and I wouldn’t have had it any other way but I also have regrets about certain situations resulting from my attitude, and how I handled said situation that, today I’d have not taken lightly. Fortunately, they aren’t the sort of things that will be a “scar” for life, but that doesn’t mean I don’t sometimes ponder changing those moments.
I have been fortunate to have the most awesome parents ever (I might be just the tiniest bit biased). They are leading examples of not only who I want to become spiritually but also as people have been wonderful examples, and I have been – and still am very close to my parents. We are constantly giving each other a rough time about things (perhaps it is fair to say that is more my dad and I *wink*) and I am comfortable telling my mother anything. I know that if something is bothering me, they are there to listen. For that, I shall always be grateful and hope I never lose sight of that. Lately the realization that more likely than not, this special time with my parents is drawing to a close has been on my mind. I’ve reached the age where time suggests that sooner rather than later, I am going to be starting a new life that will someday include marriage, and will be a different – but equally as wonderful life. It isn’t something I ponder 24/7 but I’d be lying if I said I’ve not wondered about the kind of guy I am going to meet, fall in love with and marry – it just isn’t an obsession for me for which I am abundantly thankful.
Something new makes me nervous. Trepidation is a part of my make-up but happily my life has been and is a simple one – which is just how I like it. Most of us are likely too comfortable in our surroundings and scene to want things to be shaken up. At the risk of contradicting myself change does seem to come and go easily for me if I make up my mind that I am not going to let it take over or “ruin” my life. It might take me a while to fully “accept” change but adapting does seem to be something I can easily take because I make it a point to go with whatever life throws my way (within reason). As far as I am concerned, the day that change enters my life might not be my best, but life teaches us that... well, life happens. It rarely gives multiple-choice options or checks in with us via email; we are not usually given a choice of a, b or c. I am no longer a fourteen-year-old whose thought process is one of comfort in my parent’s home and that the life I will one day have when I have to actually think about managing finances or anything that pertains to run a house in all manners, is a “long way off.” Whatever life may bring us, it is always best to take it with the right attitude and above all, learn how to be ready for it. There are some great things yet to come.